While we must wait until Monday to get the results of the 2007 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, it behooves us all to reflect soberly on last year's winners, and ask ourselves if we can't do better.
In case you did not print this out and frame it when it was first announced, here's last year's winning entry:
"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."
How they judge these I can't say, since most of them seem equally funny. Here's another, the winner of the detective fiction division:
"It was a dreary Monday in September when Constable Lightspeed came across the rotting corpse that resembled one of those zombies from Michael Jackson's "Thriller," except that it was lying down and not performing the electric slide."
Good stuff. Probably too late to enter now, but I'm going to craft a few entries for next year.