Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I feel stupid, and contagious

Now they tell me. Turns out the worst thing you can do when you have a cold is blow your nose. I've been blowing mine about every 90 seconds for the last two days, ever since this cold swept down like the wrath of a vengeful god. Also, my head aches, my joints creak and my throat feels like somebody slipped ground glass into my Cheerios. Under these circumstances, blowing my nose had become a bright spot in the day.

But no, they say. Don't blow your nose. Use decongestants instead. And presumably, let mucus run all over your upper lip and shirt should the decongestants take awhile to reach full effectiveness. OK, now I'm grossing myself out. I hate the word mucus. But here's another helpful tip from the geniuses at the University of Virginia: If you must blow your nose, blow one nostril at a time. Hey, thanks for the heads up. Never would have thought of that on my own. Just blow the problem nostril, not the other one, right? Got it.

I hate letting a cold run its course. But I hate getting older, too, and the possibility of tornadoes in February. Some things are just going to happen. "The moving finger writes, and having writ, moves on ..." I just wish, in this case, that it would move on a little faster.


Ryan said...

Everyone around me is coming down with the same stuff.

So far I've had enough good fortune to avoid it, but if/when I do get sick, I will be blowing my nose heh

Anonymous said...

The proper method for clearing one's nasal passage is to place a finger on one nostril while exhaling firmly through the other. Don't blow as germs will be forced into your eustachian tubes. To complete the process, take a full mouthful of Bali Hai, stand on your head and gently slosh the anti-bacterial solution up and over your uvula and out through your nostrils. Call me in the morning.

Dr. Brian Hallstrom

PS Did I have a car the summer of '76 or did I ride my bike to the airport to give you free flight instruction?

Dave Knadler said...

Dr. Hallstrom: My recollection is that you did have a car, but I can't quite summon the make. I was driving a '70 Datsun 510.

And thanks for the reminder about the free flight instruction. I'll get that check in the mail real soon now ...

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