Friday, May 9, 2008

Money for nothing, and Cialis for cheap

Let's go now to the mail bag. Here's a recent message from Kingsley Dominic, Chief Auditor to the President of Nigeria:
SENATE COMMITEE ON APPROPRIATION

Attn: Beneficiary, Congratulations,the senate house federal Repuplic of Nigeria has chosen you by the board committe on appropriation and finance as one of it's final ATM recipients Your ATM card of $5,500,000.00 has been issued out. For claim provide personal information Name,Country,Phone Number,and Address which you want the parcel to be deliverd
TO DR. EZE AYOGU
ATM PAYMENT DEPARTMENT
Dear Dr. Ayogu: I think we see why the people of Nigeria are in such financial straits, with their government handing out ATM cards willy-nilly. Sending $5.5 million to me, even as deserving as I am, seems an overly extravagant gesture and out of concern for Third World hunger, I cannot accept the dough at this time. Perhaps you and the others on the Senate Commitee on Appropriation can use it to purchase new SUVs for yourselves and your families.

One of the great things about blogging is the lasting e-mail relationships you form. Longtime correspondent Easy Google Profit writes to inquire:

IS YOUR COMPUTER MAKING YOU MONEY?
LEARN TO MAKE EASY GOOGLE PROFIT. CLICK HERE.

Dear Easy: No, my computer is not making me money. I've tried restarting it and updating the video drivers. I think it's a bug in Vista.

Perhaps reflecting the national zeitgeist, a number of readers have written this week to offer their services in the unlikely event that I might suffer from erectile dysfunction. Alvin English, Denis Darling, Gretchen Bryant, Gilbert Barnhart and 551 others were all inspired to notify me thusly:

Dear!!,

Do you have problems with good p/h/a/r/m/a/c/y store at your country? Don't know good place to buy pills?
There won't be any such problem anymore if you'll visit LegalRxMeDS d/r/u/g/ store.
B.u.y any m/e/d/i/c/a/t/i/o/n that you need here and get them shipped worldwide instantly.
Go v/i/s/i/t http://lopxhayo.net

nrgyq

Dear Alvin, Denis, et. al.: Thanks for the heads up. By the way, don't know good place to buy keyboard? Yours put slash in odd area and make salutation as gibberish. Go v/i/s/i/t http://logitech .com. They make you good deal and there won't be any such problem anymore.

Finally, Policelink Scholarships always offers helpful advice on the blog. The most recent:

David Knadler:

CLICK HERE TO SEE HOW EASY IT IS TO BECOME A POLICE OFFICER

Dear Policelink: Why do I have to click? Shouldn't it be easier than that? Yes, I've enjoyed the video of the Philly cops beating the hell out those guys and I might be interested in more information on this rewarding career. But clicking is just kind of inconvenient right now.

Well, I see we've run out of space once again. But do keep those e-mails coming. They give meaning to my day.

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