"Alone" again, with cash on the line

Ever watch ““Alone”? It’s a History Channel show where 10 contestants get dropped off in the wilderness with no food and 10 items of survival gear. There are no camera crews; part of the deal is they each have to film themselves with GoPros and the like. Last person standing wins $500,000. 

We’ve seen most of the seasons over the past few years, but for this latest one we finally have some skin in the game. We entered a betting pool, $10 a person, on who lasts the longest. 

Each of us (there are 14) get three picks. Points are awarded for the number of days each contestant lasts. Obviously, with the princely sum of $140 on the line, “Alone” is must-see TV around Casa del Dave.

In this new season, as in all of them, all the contestants boast impressive survival credentials. So it takes an expert eye like mine to judge who might go the distance. Here are the types who usually don’t:

1. People who wax sentimental about their families within the first few days. Seriously. Loneliness appears to eliminate more contestants than actual starvation.
2. Burly extroverts who keep explaining how tough and macho they are.  Yeah, they’re manly men, but the manliest always seem to get diarrhea and tap out around day 35.
3. Women. Sorry, but the show has had only one female winner since its inception. It’s not that the women aren’t strong – they’re strong as hell – or that they’re more prone to loneliness. I just think they are less prone to foolish pride, and generally grounded enough to decide that 500 large is not exactly a life-changing sum when cold and starvation begin to extract the inevitable toll. 

Tomorrow is the second episode. The first one to go was a fat guy named Cubby, who managed to stab himself in the upper thigh with a broadhead arrow. Tough break, but the upside is, he wasn’t one of my picks. In case anyone is interested, mine are Peter, William and Dub. After the first episode, I still feel OK about my selections, but let’s just say I’m not supremely confident. 

You can’t watch “Alone” without at least wondering how you might do. I’m under no illusions. I could go maybe three nights, as long as the producers allowed one of my survival items to be an Airstream trailer loaded with 200 pounds of beef jerky. Otherwise, “Alone” is best experienced in the comfort of one’s home.